have a happy happy new year!
very loco!

hahaha,
jana

(live, dancing from the kitchen )

Nothing perfect is perfect


One month ago, even longer, after reading in an email some stuff, that deeply touched me, i went to a library and bought a bigsized notebook, because i needed to write..
in this book i tried to immure my feelings of that period, which were so heavy to drag with me around, that i couldnt stand up from a chair.
This book sacrificed itself to play the host of all my burden. And the more i wrote, the heavier it became, day by day.
And when i finally had to leave and come back home, i noticed it had became so huge, that it filled my suitcase like a millestone and i wasnt be able to move it.
There i undestood, that some things we seem to drag with us everyday, are better left in a drawer.
I sighed, cause the book had became so precious to me, it was my very innermost. My feelings, passions, love, fears, tears and the most - words i had never said.
Words... the more i had, the more i had lost.

And there i understood, that acctually i didnt need anything. If we burry all the burden we are dragging with us, we become pure. But we are not empty.
So i left my book,..and i didnt turn back, because every closed page is a new beginning.
I feel ready.
If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful.


Life is movement.


P.S: so that there might be always someone to catch you, when u are running amongst to the children, there, in the blooming rye...

I m looking at you and you smile at me...(is it heaven?)
you're a picture, even calling me on the phone..
is it a wrong place where i've putted u into
just some rubby box on my chest...
Instead onto a perfect wall.
Is it a sin not to shout when i gave you my voice
Is it happyness not to cry when light is blinding me
is it me who is catching the ocean not to strand on dry land
is it me finishing at the point of you

did u hear how the clock passed on arrhythmia
moving me closer and further away from you,
seasick, down with tobaccogreenish hope.
Plucking my hair one by one like a daisy
smiling at the thought if at the end you could love me..

Flows are coming by and leaving me,
dropping in just to say a friendly hello..
Was it wrong not to open the door, since it wasnt you
Is it wrong to swimm on the brink of sleep
hence i cannot drown into not loving you.

Is that alright?
But you're not a picture,..no..
Is that alright?
no